I am over 40 and seeing a divorced woman over 50- she has been divorced for over 8 years. She belongs to a health club, that I am against her going to, the reason why is because over the years she has had many intimate encounters with men there in the past, including a sexual romp with a trainer there, that she says he no longer works there. I have asked her to go to another gym, but she wont, she claims that gym is very convenient for her, and there are no all female gyms in the area, but there are a few co-ed gyms, I have no issues with her going to another coed gym. What do you think? Why won't she give up that gym? Do I have a right to be upset that she goes there- knowing her past at this gym?
This comes down to a question of trust. Despite her past relations, it's still her right to go to the gym (of her choosing) and there isn't much you can do about it. That said, you have a right to ask if she is still hooking up with the other members. And if she is, it is certainly within your right to tell her it bothers you.
If she cares about your relationship she will at least try to come to an agreement that works for both of you. And if you can't, then it's time to find another woman.
However if she tells you she isn't fooling around with anyone at the gym, you have to trust that answer.
Good luck, and please report back with your follow-up.